Parents want a way to keep in touch with kids during the school day, especially in case of an emergency. Schools across the country are banning cell phones from classrooms. Now that the new school year is well underway, how’s it all working out so far?  

“I haven’t had any problems with it,” 13-year-old Long Island 8th grader Bella Tharler told me over the phone. She recently moved to New York from Hawaii and says the rules regarding cell phones are stricter now than at her last school. That’s no surprise since New York is one of the latest states considering statewide bans on smartphones in schools to combat growing concerns over student focus and mental health. 

“I can use my phone on the bus, but it has to be off and put away at all times in school. If [a teacher or faculty member] sees the phone out, like any time at school, they take it, and I think you get sent to the Dean. I think we’re supposed to put them in our lockers, but I keep mine in my bag (turned all the way off) because I feel like if something happens, what's the point of having a phone if it's in your locker and you can't really call your parents or something, you know?” 

Parents, stop making life harder for your kids at school 

Across the country, most check-ins with middle and high school students are pretty much the same. The bans are going just fine. Students are happier, less distracted and there’s less drama overall. It’s been kind of a relief for students and teachers alike.  

A 15-year-old student in Indiana told NPR he doesn’t spend time secretly on his phone during class anymore since it’s now “the law” to stay off phones at school. “I feel like I’m paying attention more and more focused,” he said. His grades have already improved “dramatically.” 

We heard similar sentiments from dozens of other students who say it’s different when a teacher tries to get you to put your phone away versus potentially “breaking the law.”  

Teachers and administrators also say the bans are working and offering some much-needed relief. One school superintendent said the students seem almost “unburdened” by having more concrete rules around smartphones.  

So far, the biggest pushback comes from parents. Parents want a way for kids to keep in touch if something horrible, like a shooting, happens at school. I wrote about this in my last column.  

More:Screen time can be safer for your kids with these devices

Should parents manage kid’s devices, not schools? 

The fact many parents oppose the bans comes as no surprise to Charlene Lake, Head of Corporate Responsibility at AT&T. She said over email that according to AT&T’s latest insights, parents believe that they — not schools — should manage kids’ gadgets. “Our research shows that more than 85% of parents believe it’s their responsibility to manage their children’s use of devices. Every family is different, and so are their values, needs and circumstances,” she wrote.  

The trouble is, parents are not successfully managing their kids time on devices.  

“We understand that managing technology in today’s world can be challenging for both parents and educators. At AT&T, we believe that empowering parents with the right tools and knowledge is key to addressing these challenges. We focus on giving parents the tools and resources they need to make informed decisions that work for their family, no matter what their school’s policies might be,​” Lake added.  

While it’s true that AT&T, like many wireless companies, provides an array of additional tools to help parents monitor and control screen time for kids, including a more child-friendly watch and tablet, none of it fixes the overwhelming problems with smartphones in classrooms. Like, not even close.  

“Parents seek a way to implement ‘foolproof and easy’ parental settings, and the reality is that I’m not sure that entirely exists,” says Jodie Sherrill, one of Parenting in a Tech World Facebook group main moderators. “You nearly have to be a tech guru, you must learn all the devices, operating systems, social platforms, their settings. Just when you figure it out, it all changes.”  

This makes many of us wonder: Why haven’t big companies like Apple or carriers like AT&T created one simple, inexpensive device we can add to our existing family plans to keep in contact with our kids, minus all the potential "bad stuff?"  

“Parents typically want phones to be used for the helpful tools they can be: parental contact, location, maps, perhaps light, safe, educational browsing and limited time on a few select apps where they don’t have to worry about their children encountering [a minefield of inappropriate content],” Sherill added.  

Is there such a thing as a 'safe' phone for kids? 

Bedford, New Hampshire, mom and school para-eductor Stephanie Carlson went with a Troomi phone for her 8th grader. “It’s a Galaxy phone with no internet access,” she says. “What I like is that later on I can add internet and apps when she’s ready.”  

Carlson also says the phone was difficult to navigate at first and that she had to send it back and get a replacement. It doesn’t work with her current family cellular plan either.  

“I pay a premium for a phone my children barely use, around $35 a month for my daughter to call and text. But at least I’m in charge of who can contact them and who cannot, including the spam calls and texts that were blowing up their phone before. That’s the price you pay for safety now,” she added.  

I’ve long advised parents to take advantage of gadgets built to grow alongside kids. As I’ve mentioned in recent columns, phones from Bark, Gabb, Troomi and Pinwheel are solid options.  

The one I recommend most to my friends and family right now is from Pinwheel. It offers five models of Android phones with easier-to-navigate parental controls built-in.  

There’s no web browser though, no access to any social media and you can see your child’s text messages and call history. You can choose from 1,200 apps to allow or block from the parent portal. It’s also straightforward to set time limits on each app and shut everything down at bedtime.   

One of the best features, though, is that you can use it with your current service — AT&T, Verizon, T-Mobile, etc. — which is great if you want to add it to an existing family plan (depending on the model you choose). You have to pay for the phone upfront. They start at $100, and the ongoing subscription is $15 per month.  

Connected watches could also suffice, and it’s worth checking out the Verizon Gizmo Watch 3, Gabb Watch 3, TickTalk 5 and COSMO JrTrack 3.  

Other phones to consider are the so-called “dumb phones” like the Wisephone II ($399, pre-order), Light Phone II ($299, pre-order) and Punkt MP02 ($299).  

Each device touts simplified calling and texting, with access to extras like a camera, maps and calendars and limited access to the Internet or other apps.  

Another mom we spoke with for this series, Leigh Hicks, gave her high schooler a flip phone mainly used for senior citizens — the Lively Jitterbug Flip2 — because it was the only handset she could find that was not connected to the internet.  

More:School is no place for cellphones, and some states are cracking down

Don’t just set it and forget it, though 

If you, like many parents, hand off an older iPhone or an Apple watch (or a Samsung or Google device, for that matter), be sure you have the time to keep it up to date.  

Many comments on the Parenting in a Tech World group revolve around how often parental controls fail, change or kids find a sneaky workaround.  

“Every time you set up some sort of limitation, it seems like they find a way to circumnavigate it,” Virginia Beach-based mom of two and teacher Allison Graves says. “And whenever there’s an update, something stops working,” she added.  

Wilmington, North Carolina, Mom Leigh Hicks agrees. “Someone showed [my daughter] how to get TikTok and make it look like she was on a calculator app. These kids are smarter than we are, and they can always find a back door. They change the time zones. There’s no bulletproof way on any of these phones to keep your kids away from [everything].”  

“We’re all trying to navigate the parenting journey the best way we know how,” adds Stephanie Carlson. “That’s why we need to keep talking with each other and learning from parents who’ve gone through it.”  

Jennifer Jolly is an Emmy Award-winning consumer tech columnist and on-air contributor for "The Today Show.” The views and opinions expressed in this column are the author's and do not necessarily reflect those of USA TODAY. Contact her at [email protected].